The family is the basic unit of a society. If each one of us can take care of our own family properly, both our personal life and the whole world will be more peaceful!
Most of our understanding of others is based on personal experience. That’s not bad, but it is definitely not enough! Even though we live under the same roof, eat the same food, watch the same TV programs, our views are more or less different every time, because everyone of us has accumulated different experiences since childhood until the moment of now. It is natural that we can’t understand others completely, but we must try to understand more! If we attach to our own experience too much, we are ignoring the different experiences of others. It is not necessary to force ourselves not to make any misunderstanding, but we’d better remind ourselves to stand in the view of others at first.
Forgiveness is always based on understanding. It is not just forbearance. There’s no mistake which can be done by oneself. There’s no hurting which derives from one side. Even though sometimes, it seems like that. It is to give more space to yourself and others. But it is neither to give up principles nor become unconcerned. It is an opportunity to introspect into oneself and communicate deeper with others. It is to help to reduce mistakes and avoid hurting.
With more understanding and forgiveness, we can set up trust between each other. And trust will also cultivate understanding and forgiveness. Sometimes, we should accept secrets of others; just let them stay in the safe. The biggest safe is the trust between each other. And sometimes we need to ignore lies, just let them go in the dustbin, because neither of you want to keep them. But trust is conditioned; it is an attitude to encourage each other to make a better now and tomorrow.
The care should stay with balance. The balance between what is good and what is proper, what you want to give and what others need, how much you should give and how much others can accept, how to give and how others like to receive… Sometimes, we need to keep a distance with family members we care about, so that we can have a more general view on what they really need. Sometimes, we need to detach from whom we care, to avoid giving stress besides care. Sometimes, we need to give up the burden of personal worrying, even when the loved ones are in danger, in order to do more things meaningful and helpful. The real care means to broaden our view, to present without enforcement, to act without fear.
All of these need a lively mind with compassion and discipline. This is also the key for the peace of a society and the world !